Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize