Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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