The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
