it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
