When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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