I will die if light touches me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My bed smells like the plague
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
