I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize