hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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