Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
