Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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