you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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