you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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