No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think your dad took our porno
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
