He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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