dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
