Midget sex pt 2 tonight
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im holly from the hills drunk
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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