i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We don't watch enough power rangers
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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