i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
