whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
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the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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