Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
