My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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