Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
