They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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