Got a toothbrush?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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