I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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