If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't deserve a penis
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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