So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize