we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
