Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
