i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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