Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
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