Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
