Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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