so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You ate ashes out of my bong
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