I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
