thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize