I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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