Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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