i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize