Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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