we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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