oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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