shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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