I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
