do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
