nut hugger
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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