Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
