Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
