I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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