Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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