She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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