the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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