but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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