Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
