I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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