My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize