just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
