If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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